BOOK REVIEW » It Ain’t Nobody’s Business If You Do

It Aint Nobody's Business If You Do
A CONSENSUAL CRIME IS any activity—currently illegal—in which we, as adults, choose to participate that does not physically harm the person or property of a nonconsenting other.

Does this mean that consensual crimes are without risk? No. Nothing in life is without risk. The fact is, we’re all going to die. Life is a sexually transmitted terminal illness.

Consensual crimes are sometimes referred to as “victimless crimes.” Alas, every scoundrel committing a real crime of extortion, fraud, or embezzlement declared it a victimless crime, attempting to argue that a crime without physical violence is also a crime without a victim. Everyone who has been robbed with a fountain pen—or computer terminal—rather than a gun knows that’s not true. Another group claiming protection under the victimless crime umbrella are those, such as drunk drivers, who recklessly endanger innocent (nonconsenting) others. Just because no one actually got hit, it was okay to go seventy miles an hour through a school zone. Not so.

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Meanwhile, all the intolerance mongers, attacking a bona fide consensual crime, maintain the crime does so have a victim. (“We’re all victims!” is one of their favorite phrases.)

It’s hard to find any activity in life that does not, potentially, have a victim. People who live in Florida may become victims of hurricanes; drivers of cars may become victims of traffic accidents; and each time we fall in love we may become the victim of someone tearing the still-beating heart from our chest and stomping it into the dust of indifference. (Sorry, it’s been a hard month.)

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